Ant parade

Let me take a moment to pray for all the ants that have recently been killed in our apartment. These little bulky body visitors appear out of thin air (or maybe the old wood paneling around our tub) to roam freely around our living room. Sorry ant buddies, we didn't invite you. It isn't even Spring and we are already seeing you guys planning for a summer picnic with a jello mold and watermelon slices. Yes, it was me who accidentally spilled the sugar and forgot to clean it up right away but these ants are not the sugar type. They like to watch television in the living room, skinny dip in our tub, and do a creepy diagonally strut on our walls. I would respect these ants so much more if they did in fact parade out in a single file line on their way to the kitchen searching for half an avocado or a drop of orange juice but this, my friends, is not the case. When we see these ants, it appears that they are drugged or perhaps have spent way too long inside a hole in the ground under the winter snow. Either way, these ant eyesores need to go. I know they won't get this message but I do feel awful when I have to find a random shoe or a piece of junk mail to kill them. For the love of all ants, especially the big ones who travel solo, do us all a favor and stay outside. Please don't come into our apartment anymore, there is absolutely no room for you to make this your home.